i’ve felt pretty damn tired.

At the end of Rob Bell’s book “Velvet Elvis”, he tells a story about how – as a child – he witnessed a pastor lie about how many people accepted Christ in one of his services.  Bell goes on to make the point that all of us have seen Christ misrepresented at one time or another, and that as Christ’s bride, we have to make a conscious effort to truly love the church – despite its apparent shortcomings.

I would agree with him completely.

However, today I am struggling with the ideas behind “Americanized” church (as I have for well over two years now).  I am struggling to see how we can preach anything more than we preach Christ.  I am struggling to understand how short tempered we are with one another.  I am struggling to see beyond the ‘programming’ aspect of church, as well as the ‘authentic’ aspect of it.

What’s worse – I’m trying to see beyond my own personal experiences with her.
I’ve felt betrayed.
I’ve felt beaten up.
I’ve felt pretty damn tired.
And despite these feelings, I get very little sympathy from my brothers and sisters, beyond what’s mentioned in the first paragraph of this post.

That we are to love Christ’s church – his bride – the way he does; unconditionally.

I’ve already said that I agree with that, so what’s my problem?

I’m not quite sure that she loves me back…

One Response to “i’ve felt pretty damn tired.”
  1. ripplegirl says:

    I appreciate your post. I feel it too. Longing for real church…

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