i felt like a ton of lemons.

today turned out to be pretty good, overall.
despite the fact that i felt like a ton of lemons had been dropped on my chest this morning.
thank you to anyone that threw out a prayer for me.
it surely helped.

at church we’re working through what it looks like to live out our faith in Jesus in a less-predictable way within our city, and it really has weighed heavy on me.
partly because i truly care about my city, but also because i know how much it does, and will demand of me – physically, spiritually, and even financially.

i’m already tired.
i already feel worn out.
i’m already stressed.
most of me is not ready for what this church plant is going to mean for me (while starting a small design firm, and running an arts organization).
or even, what it means for me now.

and if you want me to be honest, this is where i’m stuck.
i don’t have the answer to this situation.
i quit trying to be max lucado* a long time ago.

this is totally where i could give the ‘good worship leader answer’ and say that i find my ultimate satisfaction in Christ, but the bottom line is: i feel completely spent, overworked, and in light of that, under-appreciated.
i guess i have for a long time (like, a couple of years really), and it’s finally catching up to me.
and i’m blogging about it.
i feel like i’m crying out for attention.

i promise, that’s not it.
i’m just venting.

i guess i needed to.
because that’s not what i was planning on writing.

i hate it when that happens.

love.

*for examples of nate lucado go here.

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