i’m too self conscious and i should probably get over it.

finals are almost completely behind me, and i feel the weight being lifted.
i get almost two months off of school, and i’m really hoping to get the chance to be creative while i have the time.
amanda called me tonight and we talked about going to portland for a few days over the break.
i think that would be nice.
i’m ready to get back to songwriting.
i’m ready to (finally) design some stuff for some folks that have been asking me to.
i’m ready to sleep.
a lot.
i’m ready to compose the lineup of poets/songwriters for our next proxart event.
i’m really hoping that i get to read a lot.
i have a lot that i want to do.

i think something that always gets lost for me (when i have big ‘i wanna do this’ lists), is the fact that, the reason i came back from doing the on-the-road-music-thing was because i truly had a heart for santa clarita.  i don’t know why.  there’s nothing in this town.  but maybe that’s why i love it.  i mean, if you’re going to create something, why not start from the ground up.  i’ve never really felt that i fit in anywhere.  so why not not fit in somewhere where there are a lot of people that don’t fit in?  why not get all the people that don’t feel like thy fit in together and have a big ‘i don’t fit in’ party?

that’s what proxart is.  i hope.

tim burton saw this problem when he went to calarts in valencia.  that’s where edward scissorhands came from (if you didn’t know).  art people just don’t fit here.  and it’s weird.

i think the weirder thing for me is that i don’t really feel like i fit with art people either.

i think i’m too self conscious and i should probably get over it.

ANYWAY, enough of my ranting:

friday is our first Proxart event.  and like i said, we want it to be a big huge ‘i don’t fit in’ party.  so, if you live in the area (or if you just want to check it out), please come and sing your songs, or share your poetry, or read your short stories, or just simply drink a cup of joe and start a conversation with someone new.

that’s all we want really.  just some art, and some community.

santa clarita needs that.

i’m gonna finish some stuff for brian that i told him i would get to him monday (sorry brian).

thanks for sticking with me through my randomness.

hope you’re well.


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